We truly do have more similarities than it may seem. Sometimes it's all about putting it in the right frame of mind, or context, for someone else to be able to understand. It can be tricky to find that point of reference, and it may not be a comparison that makes sense to everyone...at times, our system has found interesting metaphors to reach personal understanding that our external friends find confusing.
I've never agreed with the mindset of 'you can never possibly understand how X feels'...that sort of mindset seems to shut down discussion and create a barrier where there doesn't have to be one. It's not to say we don't have any differences at all, or that differences are 'bad' to have in the first place, but we can acknowledge difference while still having sympathy and empathy, and respecting each other. Then we can foster connection instead of building walls of distrust.
I know that if I (an orthohuman) were to ever turn into a raven, for example...it might be fun for a little while, but ultimately it would be distressing if I could not change back. I prefer being human! From that perspective, I can understand the distress my other system members feel with their dysphoria. I may never know how it feels the exact same way they do, but I can still try to understand and respect it, and therefore respect them as people. I also think of when G first came out as nonbinary to a friend who proceeded to do a lot of personal research on the topic, only to come out admitting she didn't understand the concept in the end. But that never stopped her from using the correct pronouns, and she never told G their identity was wrong or 'bad'.
no subject
I've never agreed with the mindset of 'you can never possibly understand how X feels'...that sort of mindset seems to shut down discussion and create a barrier where there doesn't have to be one. It's not to say we don't have any differences at all, or that differences are 'bad' to have in the first place, but we can acknowledge difference while still having sympathy and empathy, and respecting each other. Then we can foster connection instead of building walls of distrust.
I know that if I (an orthohuman) were to ever turn into a raven, for example...it might be fun for a little while, but ultimately it would be distressing if I could not change back. I prefer being human! From that perspective, I can understand the distress my other system members feel with their dysphoria. I may never know how it feels the exact same way they do, but I can still try to understand and respect it, and therefore respect them as people. I also think of when G first came out as nonbinary to a friend who proceeded to do a lot of personal research on the topic, only to come out admitting she didn't understand the concept in the end. But that never stopped her from using the correct pronouns, and she never told G their identity was wrong or 'bad'.
-B